25 November 2013

Crickets


Hello Internet. 

This feels a bit awkward to be honest. I feel like I've been avoiding a friend or a commitment for some time now, but life felt too much to be writing about since Halloween. But things have calmed down a tad and I want to update this space about things that have been happening in my life. 

Well, well. Where to start. I guess most of my absence from this blog has to do with my job. Both Ben and I have felt very drained by our jobs and what used to excite and challenge us has become what stresses and worries us. My classes especially have been quite challenging. Last year my largest class was like... I don't know, five kids? They were very small classes and I was very close with all my students. But this year our school is packed. And I don't like it. I feel like I spend the majority of my time yelling at students and, with the exception of my adult Advanced class, feel like I don't ever get to sit back and enjoy my students company. It's just... exhausting.

For a couple weeks I felt very trapped in our work. Trapped in Russia. I couldn't just quit when my boss was rude to me and my students challenged me--I was stuck. Because this is real life now and you can't just quit your job and hide at your parents house until something new pops up. I'm across the world and everything I own, a portion of my future, is tied up into this work. It's a really frustrating feeling. 

Ben was as wonderful as a partner as can be--he reassured me that I wasn't stuck and we would find ways to make our days better. And we have. There are still many sticks in the fire, but I have certainly come to terms with the realities of my job and let go a lot of the stressors that were weighing me down. I'm sorry to be vague, but since nothing is set in stone, it'd be kind of silly to write about it. Ben and I are just saving our money (we finished saving for Amsterdam and are half way finished with our savings for Italy in the spring!) and looking forward to the Christmas holiday. 

And speaking of CHRISTMAS! It's so close! I wouldn't say I'm a total "Christmas" girl or anything (as in I don't drink Starbucks whatevers and watch ABC Family Christmas movies), but I do love buying presents for people and decorating and baking and watching the ground turn white and everyone get into a good mood...

but I'm not sure how it'll be in Russia. I know that America is like, king of overdoing everything, but when you grow up there you just can't help it! I want everything everywhere to be decked out. Ben and I were in the center over the weekend and I was so happy to see the beautiful streets covered in small blue lights and the trees outside of the red square wrapped in yellow twinkles. Even if the country of Russia is covered in red and green, I know Ben and I will have a nice Christmas (just the two of us!!! Weird...). We do have to work Dec 24th-25th because Russians don't celebrate Christmas on those days, but that's okay. We'll be going on holiday two days after, and I don't think the actual date matters as much as who you're with and how you celebrate. 

Yesterday Ben and I went to the mall and I went to IKEA to grab some candles (because god forbid any store besides IKEA sold candles???) and I ended up buying some things to make decorations for our apartment. Ben and I also did a bit of Christmas shopping (and he bought stuff for my birthday which is in about two weeks) which was also really fun. But I'm so bad at keeping secrets and not giving presents early! Ugh, but I'm going to try. I did see a beautiful leather messenger bag and bought it for Ben early because he's been in desperate need for one. He insisted it was an early Christmas gift, but I got it for him because I'd been in a bummer mood since things turned sour at work and I wanted to say thank you for being so wonderful and kind. He was really excited about it. 

Well, I guess that's it for now. I feel like I have sufficiently updated this blog and hopefully I won't let two weeks (er, three?) slip by again. I do like this space and I want to post some of the recipes Ben and I will be playing with for Christmas. 

But I'll leave you with some links to make up for the distance. I hope all my American readers have an awesome Thanksgiving and to everyone else I hope you're staying warm and enjoying the changing seasons! Cheers!

  • I've got this smell-bomb in my hair right now... LUSH Jasmine and Henna Fluff Ease. If you can handle the pungent smell you'll have some soft, soft hair. 
  • How amazing is Ja'mie: Private School Girl? Did anyone watch Summer Heights High on HBO? Well if you didn't, you must and revel in Chris Lilley's amazing characters. And Ja'mie! Oh my goodness. You will never be able to stop quoting her. 
  • I "liked" this page on Facebook recently and it's been a very positive thing for my news feed. It's nice to see Russia in the news for some positive stuff as well (not that the negatives should be ignored, but it's important to remember the good things too)
  • Ben and I blew an insane amount of money on peanut butter at the import store yesterday and made Over Fried Peanut Butter Panko Chicken and Coconut Noodles last night. SO GOOD.
  • And I made this simple, but tasty, little dish the other day for lunch: Penne with Marinated Tomatoes & Mozzarella 
  • Ben and I have been drooling over this list of the 13 Coolest Tattoo Artists (look before you freak, Mom!). I don't know if I'd ever get a sleeve or anything, I like my tiny tattoos, but who knows. So many of these are just art. Ben keeps telling me he wants a sleeve, but we'll see about that. 
  • And it turns out this place is in desperate need for English teachers... we've been googling and scheming... 

8 comments:

  1. i'm sorry that you're having a rough time at work. but i guess the hard time will make you even stronger, doesn't it? hope things will ease down and fall into place eventually. at least you have a vacation awaiting for you.

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    1. Yeah I know...and thanks : ) I'm just being a weepy winter baby. I know everyone goes through tough times, but when it rains it pours. Ya know?

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  2. I've missed you!

    I know the feeling of not blogging for a while and then you come back and it's like you have so much to say, but don't know where to start. Awkward is the perfect word. I hope work gets better too. For me, it's a constant ebb and flow. I would love to find a job where I'm consistently happy. Hopefully when I'm done with school... :)

    Also, fuck yes Ja'mie: Private School Girl. I'm so excited you watch Summer Heights High. Seriously, one of my faves...sooooo funny.

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    1. Ah, I missed you! I think everyone just wants to find a job that makes them happy... but I must say that I have worked as a waitress before and if you wanna work in a kitchen: GOOD LUCK! I know chefs love it, but I spent a lot of time crying in the freezer ;)

      And "my friends say I look like Mischa Barton, but I don't know what they're talking about" ; )

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  3. Oh girl, I DO NOT want to work at a restaurant. Been there, done that, also cried in the freezer. I'm leaning more towards recipe development or food styling or anything behind the scenes.

    Do you think you want to be a teacher long term? AKA once we reach real adulthood (ha), is that your plan?

    PS- "Welcome to Mr. G's room, G's room, G's room."

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    1. Recipe development? Food styling? That sounds so cool! And I'm not really sure what I want to do... I liked being a teacher for the first year, but now it's really emotionally draining. I don't know. I just want a job where all I do is daydream and read and eat cheese in bed. Ya know?

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  4. I've struggled with classes not listening, not behaving well, more than I'd like to admit. I'm pretty lucky that I have the same class every day. I've recently brought back the rewards chart and it's been working pretty well so far. It's just a printed chart that I put a sticker on at the end of the day, if they still have a star next to their name on the board. Sorry this is a little scattered, I'm on the subway to go grocery shopping in central Seoul. Anyway, I write their names on the board and give them five stars each. If they break a rule, I take a star. If they have at least one star at the end if the day, they get a sticker. They get a small prize after 18 stickers. Could you do something like that? Maybe it could be a class thing and once that class gets 18 they get to have a little snack party and play a special game.

    I'm planning to get the CELTA in Prague next September! Looks so gorgeous there. Please post if you find any good info. I'll be doing the same soon.

    Oh and I totally get the Christmas feelings. I want everyone's houses to be decorated for me, but barely anyone lives in houses here anyway. I miss small town America during the holidays.

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